Mindful parenting

As a parent, I feel one of my most important jobs is mindfully choosing what our children are exposed to. This comes in the form of food/diet... media/screen time... social experiences and peer interactions... books.. play and toys... language... The list goes on endlessly. But the process of thinking through each of these avenues of exposure has allowed us to create a home where nothing is off limits. It doesn't feel restricting to the adults - rather it feels freeing as our girls can "free range" their entire natural environment. And it is that very environment that I believe should be the foundation for a A and E's perspective on what is right/wrong, good/bad, happy/sad, boring/entertaining. 

No screen time has virtually eliminated unnecessary desires - without the bombardment of commercials and disney characters and animated action figures, the girls do not see those objects as necessary to play. By being a "maker" and taking so much pride in the things I personally create, the girls already take tremendous pleasure in giving and receiving homemade gifts (I couldn't have been more proud watching the excitement on Abby and Elise's faces when they gave handmade bracelets to two of their cousins for Christmas). I have to believe that listening to John play the piano is an influence in Abby saying just yesterday "Mom, I really am ready for piano lessons to start again". 

As mentioned previously, we're enthralled with the Little House on the Prairie books right now. I cannot stress enough how wonderful I believe these books are for children. It may seem old-fashioned, but it exemplifies a family unit who works and plays together, respects one another, and finds great happiness in the little things life brings. The girls in the book each receive a piece of candy for Christmas one year and our girls' faces lit up while reading that chapter - A and E recognized how amazing that gift was and never once commented on it being nothing more than a simple piece of candy. The picture below speaks to what we are doing - Christmas morning, our girls received books, a new shirt each, and a candy cane (thank you to The Merc, as usual, for supplying candy canes made with real cane sugar and no artificial dyes!). It was sheer happiness over a simple piece of candy. I don't think our girls are deprived; I think their world is rich with everything a child should have and that which they are deprived of are the things we have mindfully left out.

The eight nights of Hanukkah

This week, the menorah went down and the christmas tree went up. 'Tis the season! 

As I do every year, this month makes me really think about "needs" and "wants" and everything in between. I read recently that one of the critical steps in raising grateful children is to NOT give them everything they want. The holidays are a time of giving, right? But I guess everyone has their own definition of "giving" - for us, it comes in many forms... many small forms... many intangible forms... 

I want the girls to be grateful, not greedy... appreciative, not entitled... content, not needy. Thus far, I feel like we're doing a pretty good job. We continue to keep toys to a minimum, screen time and gadgets practically non-existent, and gifts that are about quality, not size and quantity. If I had to name one of Abby and Elise's greatest 5-year old strengths, it would be their ability to PLAY. They can play anywhere, anytime, with anything. Maybe some people think our children are deprived... I think they've been given the greatest gift of all: the gift of creativity. If they don't have a pretend loaf of bread to put in Dorothy's basket, they don't ask us to buy one - they used a paper towel roll. When Mary Poppins needed an umbrella, they didn't ask us to replace the broken one - they draped a doll blanket over the top of a drumstick, creating a perfectly-shaped closed umbrella. Poor, poor deprived children. 

Here's the Hanukkah gift rundown:
- Night one: 2 new Berenstain bear books each
- Night two: Sketch pad and set of colored pencils each
- Night three: Handmade nightgowns with a matching nightgown for their favorite bears (made by Gran with love)
- Night four: Lego building set each
- Night five: Sleeping bags from Gran and Grandpa
- Night six: Animal legos to go with the houses from night four
- Night seven: Dinner on the Plaza to see the lights
- Night eight: 1 Little House on the Prairie book each and a DVD of a Disney Little House on the Prairie mini-series

Our house doesn't look like a truckload of new toys was dumped inside of it. I'm not scrambling to find places to store all of the plastic. But I am enjoying watching them build, listening to them read, and snuggling on the living room floor for rest time in new sleeping bags. They have both asked if we can go to the Plaza again next year for Hanukkah, all of the new books have been read over and over and over again, and the coordinating bedtime attire is really damn cute. It was a great eight nights and I get the feeling the girls are grateful for each and every gift. 

Valentine's Day!

Nothing says "I love you" like heart-shaped food, heart-shaped bowls and SHINY SHOES! :) Serious Valentine's happiness hiding behind a big heart on a shoe box:

Abby: "Elise! Get in here! Come see what's on the table!"
Elise: "When did you buy these? Abby- what color are yours?"
Abby: "Can you get me some socks? Thank you, Momma! Thank you, Daddy!"
Elise: "Thank you, thank you! Momma, you are so creative!"

Happy heart day to you and yours!